This is a motivation blog I need something to keeping me going. I look back and see how far I have come and know I never want to see the person I was again. I hope that I can inspire someone as much as some of the blogs I have seen have inspired me.

Quick Stats
height: 5'9"
HW: 267lbs
CW: 177lbs
UGW: HEALTHY and Happy with how I look naked.

 

Pro-Ana Expectation vs. Eating Disordered Reality

Expectation: Wake up one day, weigh yourself, and feel extremely happy, accomplished, and satisfied because you hit your "UGW"!

Reality: Wake up, weigh yourself, see that you are now ten pounds less than your original "UGW" and cry because you still see yourself as fat.

Expectation: You will be beautiful, thin, and look like a model naturally.

Reality: You might be thin, your hair will fall out by the handful, your skin will be dry, and your nails will be chipping.

Expectation: You will feel strong and in control when you walk past the kitchen and say "no" to food and "yes" to "Ana".

Reality: You will sit in front of a miniscule amount of food, on the brink of passing out for hours and hours debating whether or not to eat it. Crying, feeling weak, and in fact very out control.

Expectation: All the boys will want you and you will be the skinny friend.

Reality: You will lock yourself in your house and ostracize yourself from society. You will have no friends to be skinny in comparison to and you won't care if the boys want you or not.

Expectation: You will be perfect.

Reality: You will be far from perfect. You will become a number: your weight, your BMI, number of servings, grams of this, ounces of that, number of cups, amount of tablespoons and teaspoons, calories, hours until next allowed "meal", inches, centimeters, pounds, kilos, dress size, pant size. You will be obsessed with the unattainable: happiness and satisfaction.

So

At the gym last night I did a biceps and back day. By the end of my workout I thought my arms were going to fall off! They are sore today but nothing compared to the last b&b day… That’s progress right?

“I’m never going to starve myself for a part… I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner. That’s something I was really conscious of during training, when you’re trying to get your body to look exactly right. I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong- not thin and underfed.”

(Source: jenniferlawrencedaily)

davestrider:

why are clothes so expensive? i should not have to pay this much to not be naked. people should pay ME to not be naked